Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Book of van Kaufmann, vol. 1, chapter 1, part 3

Date: Tue, 14 Dec 99 13:20PM PST
From: sander Add To Address Book Add To Junk Mail
Subject: [GREYTALK] Book of van Kaufmann, vol. 1, chapter 1, part 3

The parts should probably have all been posted at once - but typing in already existing material is incredibly boring.

As always:

* The ideas presented in the book are those of 'van Kaufmann' and may not always correctly reflect the relity.
* Tastes vary personaly
* Locals are prone to play pranks at foreigners, especially youths who seem to have way too much money and knwo way too little.
* Most of the information definately *IS* correct.


There is no love, no good, no happiness and no future - these are all just illusions.


The "Must know" cheeses of Uleks

The Yondalla's Wheel - this is most definately the best known cheese in the Uleks - and could also be beyond these everywhere where the halflings live. The cheese is only made by the halflings, and even so only for the High Holy Day of Yondalla. How and from what the cheese is made is a secret, but the cheese definately does taste extremely good. While only the halflings make the cheese and it is generaly not available to others, a wheel or two is produced each year that is sold off with the proceedings said to be used for the good of the community, or at least so they claim.
A small serving of it draws a hefty price of 10gp even here, and probably a much higher one in all the fine establishments elsewhere. Worst part is that the wheel is weighted first and then the internal half is removed and sacrificed to Yonalla.

Milcaves Blue - A variant of blue sheepmilk cheese made in the Milcave Barony in the County of Ulek. The cheese is 'developed' in special caves in the County. The exact location of these is somewhat of a secret. Very tasty.

Yellow Mellow - A very creamy and mellow white molded cheese. Suprisingly, it is very white also on the inside, so I am not sure where the yellow in the name comes from. There are several subvariants and this cheese can be found everywhere.

Lortmil early - A goatmilk cheese made early in spring by the gnomes. I'm not sure what they find in the cheese, it being of quite bland. Must be acquired taste. Suprisingly, quite a lot of it is exported.

Duke's Pink - while usually sold under different names in other places, it is named so here at it's place of origin. Duke's Pink is a very delicious mixed white/pink molded cheese made by a renown gnome family. It is one of the best cheeses made in the Uleks and goes especially well with pink champaign. Curiously enough, they have not duplicated the pink mold in other cheeses, making it the only pink molded cheese. [Duchy]

Trollfender - a very strong blue coat cheese made by the dwarves. It is strong and has a very strong smell. I have been told that it's name comes from the ability of it's smell to fend off hungry trolls. Whetever that is true I have not had the oppourturity to verify. It may be considered polite to either ask the other patrons if they mind you eating it there or go outside for the time. [Principality]

Snowcake - A white molded cheese covered with a thick edible white mold covering. Made in the form of a small sheel (without a hole in the middle) looking exactly as if made from snow. [Duchy]

Flowerwing - It is claimed that this cheese is made by leprechauns, and at the very least everybody whom I have met has claimed to know how or from what it is made. It could just as well be that it is just a ploy to extract money from the believing it, as the price is quite outrageous. It is a soft and deliciuous cheese flavoured by several herbs none of which I know of and the petals of one or two unknown flowers. [Duchy]

Pine cheese - a peculiar but tasty cheese with specially cured pieces of a mushroom growing near and under pines - read lactarius they call it - in it. The widely known cheese, usually made in the form of small cubes is transported in boxes made of pine and the cubes have an inprint of a pine beauty moth on the 'up' side. [Principality]

Privateer's morning - This is a small hard cheese literally covered with spices on the outside. Said to be originaly from seafarers as the cheese is claimed to preserve well in all climates. Presently can be found in the whole Principality, not just on the coast.

Ehlonna's appetizer - A cheese highly liked by rangers and other followers of Ehlonna. May be hard to come by for those not of the faith. Quite tasty.

The Tramp - as the legends go, an old halfling tramp who was about to be thrown into jail and then be sent out of Tringlee for various mischief had asked if he is pardoned and sent on his way with a small sum of money if he gave a recipe to a very good cheese, indeed, his family secret. For, as he said, he was old and frail and the last of his family anyways. The cheese turned out to be excellent and teh halfling was freed and sent on his way. It surfaced only later, that not only was the recipe stolen from a very famous cheesemaker family but that the halfling was a master thief
who thus was allowed to leave the city with a small fortune he had stolen. The tramp had only been a disguise. Thus the name of the cheese.

Jar cheese - actually not a single cheese but usually one of the many kinds of mellow blue cheese that has been put in a small clay (or glass for the more renown cases) jar filled with oil in which herbs have been added. A lot of these get exported as the cheese preserves well as long as the jar is unopened and uncracked. Anything in a glass jar is worth fighting for, even if the cheese is of elven manufacture.

Blue bagpipe - a blue and white molded cheese made by the halflings in the form of a small wheel. The origin of the name is unknown but it has found - as far as I know - good reception everywhere.

Door-opner - this tasty cheese that is usually spiced with several herbs and spices has a semi-important part in the halfling weddings in teh County of Ulek. When the bridesgroom shows up at the wedding day at the brides place of living, he is expected to have a number of these, all preferably made by himself. All but one of these is auctioned off to the people attending the wedding. The one remaining is eaten by the bride, the bridesgroom and the bride's family.



As a hint about pranks, think about 'Duke's Pink' and 'Trollfender'. Consider what a dwarf may do if his belowed cheese is ordered by saying something like 'and a piece of that extremely bad smelling cheese that can keep trolls away - Trollfender or what it was called').

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