Re: DMs who taketh away

Date sent: Wed, 15 Oct 1997 07:32:20 -0700
Send reply to: “John Fox [TEMP]” John.W.Fox@Eng.Sun.COM
From: “John Fox [TEMP]” John.W.Fox@ENG.SUN.COM
Subject: Re: [GREYTALK] DMs who taketh away
To: GREYTALK@MITVMA.MIT.EDU

Dear Net-gang:

After lurking for about a week on this subject I just have to say a few things about removing unwanted items (magical) or artifacts (relics) from the players’ hands.

1) Can you say rust monster. This is particularly useful if the bad guys have an illusion on the rust monster so one of the PC attacks it with his sword.
What sword……rust now.
2) Can you say captured and all items removed. Run a small campaign where characters are captured and they manage to get back most but not all of their magic items. The bad guys gave the artifact to his boss (lead into another adventure)
3) Did someone say theif. I mean what to say someone does not go into their room when the groups is out bar hopping or eating. The character does not take all his possessions with him to church, dinner, the brothel(oops), the opera.
4) Dragon’s fiery breath, you take xx points of damage, roll, roll and the following items melt because they did not save versus breath weapons.
5) Assign a certain percentage chance of an item breaking if the person is using giant strength. Say a 1 or 3 percent chance each time the item is used against a hard object. This only applies to weapons.
6) Some very important treasure requires that magical items be sacrificed to get into the place (Greyhawk castle)
7) A sage of immense knowledge may require a magical item or two to do research of for the characters to obtain certain information they need. “You want that information that only I know, I require a magic item and gold…my services are not CHEAP!!”
8) King: “My that sword is really nice. I always wanted a Dragon Slayer Sword. You say you want to live here, we just can’t have anyone taking up residence. It will require a small fee. Boy that sword looks nice (as the armed guard looks on).”
9) Priest: “Oh great Boccob what is thy bidding from thy humble servant?” An Avator of Boccob appears (minor one) and says “Thy mace of disruption is needed for a great battle in a far away land. You must stay here and guard the [word missing] so the evil which resides here does not rise. A priest by the name of [word missing] Undead Destroyer has need of your mace. He will arrive tomorrow. His [word missing] is of utmost importance!”
10) Player: “OOPS, I roled a 1.
DM: “Let’s see, you are on a cliff (ship on ocean, in air), a 1, hmm, you dropped the rod of life and death. It falls down the cliff and disappears from sight”
11) Demon: “My master says he wants that magic item…Give now or you die!”
12) DM: “You launch the fireball and suddenly the rod fizzles and sparks and turns a dull grey. It looks like it is out of charges.”
13) DM: “You are battling in cold water. After the fight with the sauhagin you suddenly notice that one of your rings is missing (cold water makes fingers smaller in diameter due to shrinking)
14) Artifact: “I said we are going to do THIS” After about three or four times the player will get sick of taking orders from the item and go to church and give it up.
15) Setting: Players are in bar (gathering) whatever and a artifact of good sees an artifact of evil..”Too ARMS, EVIL, EVIL, KILL, KILL, DESTROY”
16) Setting: Players in gathering with artifact that has a dirty mind. “Hey babe (guy) what to have a real good time!” This is particularly embarrassing to people of good alignment.
17) And the Jerko the Jackass got the last piece of the rod of seven parts. As the last part was joined he was filled with the fealing (thought) that he was GOD. The other gods looked down and laughed when suddenly a 100 HD lightning bolt decended on Jerko, turning him into a pile of ash and the rod of seven parts became the rod of seven separate parts again.
18) Artifact: “You are asking me to do what!?!?!?!? I don’t think so. As a matter of fact your alignment has strayed recently. Crack”
19) One of the beads of whatever (see DM handbook) says that players [word missing] down all magic items and then walks away forgetting what happened.
20) Evil artifact like Blackrazor must kill every so often or then turn on their master for hit points.
21) My mission is to destroy the evil under the ruins of castle XXXX. You must put me into the recess on the throne so the evil will stay banished forever.
22) Player lays artifact down near ant hill. Most number ant walks over, steps on artifact, thus destroying said object.
23) Player ends up in water and must ditch every heavy object to stay afloat.

To DMs, if the item really unbalances the game, talk with the player and [word missing] they are willing to make a sacrifice at the temple giving up the item in exchange for something a less powerful with promise of a future favor.

In all things try and make it reasonable and do start to play DM versus player.

Hope this helps a few people

John W. Fox